The very word adolescence conjures up images of juvenile behavior, rebellion, emotional instability, raging hormones, drug use, sex and other sides of the dark shades of the youthful stages of development.Parents of teens know differently! They see the uninhibited hope, the fun-loving, creative, positive young people who are in their charge.Parents face challenges every day. However, they also face potential every day! A parent's approach to bringing up children to be well-centered, happy and productive young adults is an incredible journey.
Staying Positive :-
As much of a typical teen life as your child's disability will permit. You may have to overcome qualms about what your teen can do or should try. Give your approval to social activities and be ready to tackle dating issues.Help a teen with a disability to project an upbeat image open and confident. Build on a teen's strengths - encourage her to develop her interests and to join activities that draw on her talents. Help her excel, but don't limit her activities only to special classes for kids with disabilities. Be ready to step in on your teen's behalf. Ensure that teachers, youth group leaders, and caregivers treat a teen with a disability as a normal person. Promote self-advocacy. Coach a disabled teen to stand up for her rights. Start by having her talk directly with doctors, caregivers, and counselors.
Being Watchful :-
Guiding your teen with a disability toward a normal, active life is great, but use the same caution that applies to other youth. Make sure your teen isn't "trying too hard" socially or being taken advantage of. Don't ignore sex and substance abuse as important issues for a teen with a disability. Be a good listener, but also ask questions, get to know his friends, and let him know what you expect of him.As with all teens, be attuned to the mental health of a teen with a disability. Talking with a caring relative or with a faith or youth group leader can help a teen work through issues and feelings stemming from a disability. However, be prepared to enlist professional help.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do as a parent is to give up some of your power in order to empower your teenager. I tell parents all the time, if you want your child to grow up, you have to let go of some of the power and control over their life.For the helicopter parent, the habit of picking up the slack, covering all the bases, answering all the questions, solving all the problems, and making everything easy for their teen is not doing the teenager any real favors. Instead, it keeps them immature, dependent and powerless.If your teenager is fully capable of doing well, communicate that belief to him by handing over more and more control and responsibility. Fortunately, most teens want to take control of things in their life so let them. Let them make choices, but also let them bear the responsibility for those choices. Line out their options, define the consequences, and then let them choose. Then, don’t rescue them or hold back one bit in relation to enforcing consequences for their poor choices. And don’t forget to congratulate and reward them for making good choices.
Before you determine the needed changes, get the right kind of counsel to map out a plan of action. Then, with plan in hand, and with all the power you can muster, communicate this message: “Honey - we love you. Nothing you do or say will make us love you any less, and nothing you do or say will make us love you any more. But we are not going to live like this anymore. Since you are not making the right choices on your own, here is what will change in your life, as of today…”